On October 28, under a full blood moon with a lunar eclipse, I celebrated my 59th trip around the Sun. I have experienced a very strong pull to celebrate this crossroads in my life. It has built up over time from a whisper to a shout within the seat of my soul. Grow.
For those of you that may have never heard of this idea, a Croning Ceremony is a “coming of age” ritual for older women, similar to a Quinceanera or an Apache Sunrise Ceremony for young women. The croning ceremony typically marks the time in a woman’s life when she has stopped menstruation and can no longer bear children. Some women have long passed this physical transition and use the ceremony as a time to honor the next phase in their maturation. There is no set age when this feels relevant, rather a personal decision each woman can make to live their life with the intention of aging gracefully.
The week of the ceremony and the days leading up to it, I felt excited but also anxious. I thought about what growing old meant to me and what it means to society as a whole. Particularly in western culture, aging can be a sensitive issue. Most people want to stay young, live long and prosper. Fair enough, but I got to thinking…the term “growing old” has the word GROW in it. Staying “young” or attempting to look that way is not growing. It’s shrinking. It’s minimizing. I know this opinion will not be well received by many, but hear me out. To “grow” old is a bold move and one that you may have never considered before because most modern society celebrates the young. Youthful appearance is lovely, of course, but what if we let ourselves expand? What are we afraid of? If our bodies stretch or bend in an evolution of change does that make us less desirable? I tell you, I’ve experienced it. I can make people feel very uncomfortable when I talk about letting myself expand, figuratively, and physically. It can separate you from “belonging” to a group of women who are all trying so hard to stay youthful when you talk about croning. It can certainly turn men’s heads away. It can be divisive, sometimes lonely and utterly liberating at the same time. The decision, as I see it, to become the Crone is that of confidence. It is stepping into the archetypal energy of The Wise Woman. I’ve talked about archetypes in previous posts. The Wise Woman has lived, she’s experienced her share of pain and joy. She celebrates the young but does not compete with them. She knows her physical flowering has past and enters this season of Autumn within her life as a time to shed all that no longer serves her. She looks inward and begins to attend to the needs of her soul that have perhaps been put on the back burner during years of service to career or raising a family. She rekindles her relationship with her inner child and learns to love and care for herself, even and especially if she never gave herself that chance to do so. The Wise Woman is rooted as a tree with branches shady and strong for cradling her loved ones, yet strong enough to stand on her own. She’s a storyteller, keeper of traditions, and most importantly, she listens. She grows stronger in Spirit with each passing day because she witnesses life and experiences it as a gift. She laughs at herself and laughs with others because she’s learned not to take life so seriously. Her heart and mind grow as she ages because her childlike curiosity keeps her interested every day, marveling the gift of her life and those she touches with her love.
I really don’t know how this decision to grow as I age will affect me, but I can tell you that shrinking to fit just doesn’t fall into my comfort zone, so I guess I have no choice.
If you’re interested in learning more about The Crone, I do have some resources to recommend. Anything by Clarissa Pinkola Estes is a great place to start. She is an incredible author, Jungian psychoanalyst, and “keeper of the old stories” and has a wonderful series of audiobooks you can resource through Sounds True or the Audible app. From “Women Who Run with Wolves” to “The Power of the Crone”, I recommend them all. Sharon Blackie is another inspirational author that celebrates the Crone in her writing. “If Women Rose Rooted” and “Hagitude” are great selections.
Additionally, I would like to mention that even though we talk about The Crone as The Wise Woman, I believe men can find this concept just as relatable within themselves. My husband and I just recently had this conversation and through his support of my journey, he said he feels like he is “croning” too. Balancing the masculine and feminine within ourselves is something extremely essential when is comes to living consciously and we need our Wise Men more than ever and appreciate you beyond measure.
If perhaps you are hearing the whisper of the Crone calling you into your own introspection, you’ve most certainly got a friend in me and I am more than willing to join in the conversation.

With bright blessings,
 Stellaluna