I always loved the song, “Reflection” from the Disney movie Mulan, particularly the line, “when will my reflection show who I am inside”. When? That’s the funny thing about life, we never know when inspiration will strike. On Mother’s Day, my funny family often partakes in a crafting ritual of some kind that my brother and sister-in-law have hosted over the years. This year it was having the mom’s paint their own self-portraits. We were all having a good time giggling and laughing as we created the images of ourselves. When mine was complete, I couldn’t get over how intense her eyes were, kind of like she was looking into my soul. Other comments were that she looked like an older version of me. I roared with laughter that I had just painted my future self!
When I got home I placed my painting upon my altar. She sat there for a few weeks quite unnoticed by me as I went about my daily life, however, one day in early June, I noticed her noticing me.
It was as if every time I walked by, she was trying to get my attention. When I finally surrendered to my curiosity, I could hear her say, “you know, if you want to live the life you’re fully meant to live, you better get your shit together.” My future self was literally giving advise to present day “me”. I had pushed aside things I needed to deal with and ignored parts of myself that needed healing and I knew it. I just didn’t want to notice. These things were hard. These habits were harmful and keeping me from “becoming”. I use the word, “becoming” to refer to the transformation that happens when one finally lets go of what no longer serves them to become a more evolved version of themselves. I’ve had a post it note near my desk for a decade that reads, “Be who you wish to Become”. I can’t remember now where I’d first read that quote but it resonated with me and resonates still. I am a big “transformer”. I get high on change. Anyone who knows me well knows this. But zooming in closer, a lot of change was coming from the outside and, yes, spiritually on the inside, but my EGO, the part of me that I had thought defined who I was, was holding on to definitions of me that had to break free. Long story short, I needed to clean up my act and I knew it!
Now that I’m a month into changing some bad habits and letting go of old opinions of myself, I can see much more clearly how these changes will greatly impact my ability to be who I wish to become. It is my suspicion that everyone reading this has some lie that there telling themselves based on what they want to believe. It is my suggestion to you that you try and find a way to get in touch with your future self. Perhaps by meditation, a conversation, or painting a picture as I did, physically or metaphorically. Who do you see? Is that you who you wish to become? There’s always time to change course, no matter what your age or direction, if it is your desire to do so. When will your reflection show who you are inside? Perhaps it already has.

XO, Stellaluna